Fun Puns

Here are some clever puns -

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.


A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.


Practice safe eating - always use condiments.


Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.


A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.


A hangover is the wrath of grapes.


Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.


Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?


Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.


Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.


When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.


A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.


What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)


Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.


She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.


A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.


With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.


The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.


You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.


Every calendar's days are numbered.


A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.


A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.


He had a photographic memory that was never developed.


A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.


Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.


Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.


Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.


Acupuncture is a jab well done.