Limericks

The Eagle Harbor Book Co. in the Seattle area held a limerick contest recently.  Here are some of the winners.  Enjoy -

"There was a rich hippie named Julie,
Whose Range Rover smelled like patchouli,
Each day, just for fun
She smoked weed by the ton
With a bong blown by Dale Chihuly."

- Brandon Matsen, Seattle

"To the city we'll go to make merry
After dinner o'er drinks we will tarry.
Alas, with a shout
We pay and rush out
If we run we will catch the last ferry."

- Mary Jensen, Bainbridge Island

"On the 5:30 boat in the quiet zone
A passenger answered his cellphone.
The others gathered en masse
Picked him up by his a...
Crying,"man overboard with his ring tone!"

- Robin Simons (no address given)

"Said Romeo on Bainbridge, "Don't tarry!
"Leave Seattle so that we can marry."
But his Juliette said,
"I'd rather be dead
"Than to have to get on that damn ferry."

- Eva Moon, Redmond

 

 

The Joy of Books

Hope you enjoy this video about the joy of books as much as I did!

http://youtu.be/SKVcQnyEIT8



And here are some new photos from AMC to remind you that Mad Men starts soon -

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some Jokes for Sunday

As two caterpillars were crawling along, a butterfly flew overhead.
One turned to the other and said, "You'll never get me up in one of those things!"

What do firemen put in their soup?
Fire crackers!

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crummy.

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
Put it on my bill.

 

Quotes and Stuff

Let no feeling of discouragement prey upon you, and in the end you are sure to succeed.
Abraham Lincoln

I often quote myself. I find it adds spice to the conversation.

George Bernard Shaw

 

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.

Albert Einstein

 

It has been my philosophy of life that difficulties vanish when faced boldly.

Isaac Asimov

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A couple of jokes -

Question: Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal next to a group of basketball players?
Answer: They dribble far too much.


Question: What would you have if you crossed a panther with a beef burger?
Answer: Really fast food.

Don't forget to watch!!

 

 

Lawyer Jokes

How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
Three - one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?           
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?         
Jewelry.

How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, and then on the other. 
             

How do you get a group of personal injury lawyers to smile for a picture?
Just say "Fees!" 
            

"You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?"
"Well, your Honor," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects." 
            

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

 

6. Take a lawyer to lunch!