Paris 2010

Paris 2010
Garden at Versailles

Monday, March 18, 2013

Lawyer Jokes

How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
Three - one to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?           
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?         
Jewelry.

How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, and then on the other. 

             
How do you get a group of personal injury lawyers to smile for a picture?
Just say "Fees!" 

            
"You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?"
"Well, your Honor," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects." 

            
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"


 
6. Take a lawyer to lunch!
 
 

2 comments:

  1. Good jokes! I love these!
    The last joke reminds me of The Good Wife episode last night. At the coroner's inquest into the death of a judge he allowed only three questions per attorney!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Glad you enjoyed these.

      I don't watch The Good Wife but I know it's good. Just don't have time watch everything..:-)

      Delete

Garden

Garden
Versailles

The Louvre

The Louvre
Paris

Paris

Paris
The Seine

Arc de Triomphe

Arc de Triomphe
Paris

Paris in May

Paris in May
Paris

The Louvre

The Louvre
Paris

Chihuly glass sculpture

Chihuly glass sculpture
Victoria & Albert Museum, London

Monet's Water Lilies

Monet's Water Lilies
Orangerie Museum, Paris

Westminster Abbey

Westminster Abbey
London

Bruges

Bruges
View from our hotel window

Amsterdam

Amsterdam
canal

Arc de Triomphe

Arc de Triomphe
Paris

Lilacs in London

Lilacs in London
St. Paul's Cathedral

The Royal Guard

The Royal Guard
London

Music man

Music man
Bruges

Joy at the Palace

Joy at the Palace
London

Guard

Guard
Tower of London

Jackson in Bruges

Jackson in Bruges
Belgium

Canal bridge

Canal bridge
Amsterdam

Houseboat

Houseboat
Amsterdam

British police

British police
London

Oscar Wilde's Grave

Oscar Wilde's Grave
Paris

Rhododendrons in the park

Rhododendrons in the park
Amsterdam

Versailles

Versailles
Joy in the palace

Winter scene

Winter scene
wow!

Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year
dragon

Sweet peas

Sweet peas
love 'em

Pretty bouquet

Pretty bouquet

Princess Diana Fountain

Princess Diana Fountain
Hyde Park

Gardens

Gardens
Versailles

End of summer daisies

End of summer daisies
Our yard

Cool art

Cool art
Tate Modern, London

Penguin party

Penguin party
penguins

Pretty kitty

Pretty kitty
My sister's cat

Jon Hamm

Jon Hamm
Is he a great looking guy or what?

Mad about Don

Mad about Don
Mad Men

Love Monk!!

Love Monk!!
Love To Tony

January and Jon

January and Jon
Beautiful people

Jon and January

Jon and January
Mad Men actors

Mona Lisa

Mona Lisa
The Louvre

Royal Crescent

Royal Crescent
Bath

British phone booth

British phone booth
London

Harrod's Department Store

Harrod's Department Store
London

Versailles

Versailles
bedroom

Trafalger Square

Trafalger Square
London

Tower of London

Tower of London
London

Seattle Public Library

Seattle Public Library
Seattle

Lavender

Lavender

Lighthouse

Lighthouse

Hydrangeas

Hydrangeas
beautiful

Coffee love

Coffee love
yummy